Please button up your shirt, m'am.
Ladies, unless you enjoy men and aggressive lesbians staring at your breasts all day, then your shirt probably shouldn’t be half unbuttoned with a charm necklace nestled in between your cleavage. It’s akin to (though obviously not the same as) me unzipping my fly so that people could see the base of my penis and then getting annoyed when people stare at my UPS package that has a tattoo...
Anonymous asked: Why are people so daft?
I am the Deadpool of comedians.
“So you’re a rip-off?”
Facebook stalking has reached new, unparalleled highs.
I’m for truth, no matter who tells it. I’m for justice, no matter who it is for...– Malcolm X (via fuckyeahmalcolmx)
Libya security forces fire on mourners →
The times, they are a-changing…
Lately, I’ve been on a British Humour kick. I even spell humour with a “u” now because I’m sophisticated as shit now. I’ve seen a few clips from That Mitchell and Webb Look (a sketch comedy show) over the past couple of years and decided to check it out when I saw that it was on Hulu. They only have the first two seasons, but that’s enough to grasp the fact that...
Remember to always be kind.
Stranger: m or f?
Stranger: ages? from?
You: 20 from nyc
Stranger: 24 m uk here
Stranger: is the girl hot?
You: she's ehh
You: not hot but not ugly
You: i'm a pretty strapping fellow, though
Stranger: wanna fuck her on cam n i watch?
You: dude, what the hell
You: that's my sister you're talking about
Stranger: can i see a pic of her?
You: maybe...if you ask nicely
Stranger: can i see a pic please?
Stranger: pretty plz
You: better, but I want more nice
Stranger: please may i see a pic of your beautifull sister?
You: you're so gotdamn close. NICER.
Stranger: just show me bitch
You: now you're in a galaxy far, far away
You: all you had to be was a little bit nicer
You: let that be a lesson to you
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Anonymous asked: What would you say for those people who imitate other people? like those people who act all differently so they can be accepted by others. Would you still support the whole, "we should always try to be something which we are not" ?
Vladimir Putin is a balloon animal master.
"Quit trying to be something you're not."
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about this saying. The more and more I reflect upon it, the less and less I agree with it. “Quit trying to be something you’re not.” Perhaps you think I should try to be something that I already am? Now, that just sounds absurd. I enjoy humorous, positive messages and I would agree much more with the statement if it read something more...
The Clap-Off Bra I think we have a clear front runner for Valentine’s Day Ideas…
Can folks stop telling POC what is and isn't...
cocknbull: sheresists: If you’re privileged enough to think it’s ironic, or, funny or, that it is “no big deal,” and that POC shouldn’t take things so seriously, it’s probably because you don’t have to deal with the lived experience of surviving in a racist world. Thank you. White privilege 101. Day 10 of Be Nice To Black People Month.
Oasis- She Is Love & the .gif I saw as my...
joshjoshmomosh asked: OH MY GAWD. I forgot all about bunburying until I clicked on your blog. Thank you. And +9,001 points to you for obscure literary allusions.
Best Craigslist ad ever - I DO ANYTHING →